Source: Zilla Ansa
Men are trash… yeeeea I bloody said it, MEN ARE TRASH!!!
I am pretty sure the few men that are drawn to my blog are going to either unsubscribe or just literally disregard me and my efforts but I am sorry but it is the damn truth.
Before anyone gets excited and starts calling me bitter and lonely you are so wrong because I have been in a relationship for almost 4 years, this will probably lead you to say “ohhh then your man probably continually cheats on you. Wrong 2 times, but as the world is constantly drawn to the idea that the biggest demise of relationships stems from infidelity for me I strongly disagree.
I personally believe that the biggest betrayal are the lies that are told to women by men in order to obtain their faith and trust in the person she is supposed to love, and I am not talking little meaningless ones I mean the soul shattering ones that make you question whether you even know the person you share your world with. Relationships are supposed to be all about a partnership, 2 people learning and growing together as one. But what I usually find is that one person is ready to progress and assist the union in going from strength to strength, whereas the other individual drags their feet and takes the scenic route on development. Judging by the title of this post I think you can guess that the latter is our faithful brothers. Social media is littered with boys masked as men who appear to aspire to be Kings in training but are really yet to enrol on the course. Sharing stories of how they will take care of their family and be a pillar of support, and then when the opportunity is put before them they cower and refuse to take all the responsibilities that come with having a seat at that table.
Statistics and life have proven that women mature faster than men and I definitely agree, but I feel that this cliche statement has given an excuse to the up and coming men that has allowed for neglect towards the exact same people they claim to unconditionally care for. Men and women are exact opposites in so many ways, some very positive and others extremely destructive to any kind of relationship they attempt to build. But I find that women tend to be givers, when we find someone that we are devoted to our entire soul is bared to that individual with no holds barred. Some of us are willing to give everything we physically and spiritually own if it is at the betterment of our other half, even if it meant that there was nothing left for ourselves. Whereas men can be the selfish takers and suckers of all of that positive energy that is given to the relationship, with very little given back for replenishment. They rarely recognise that this behaviour is detrimental to the bond, even when the woman that they dubbed their Queen stands before them to express their anguish it can often be brushed of as moaning or mediocre.
This being said, even though I believe men are trash I partly blame the women myself included. We constantly put up with the poor standards that are given to us, hoping that in a few years the light bulb in that dusty empty attic of a mind of theirs will turn on and change will occur over night. I have a massive disdain for getting advice from the wrong people and I severely consider my source when I ask for relationship council, so I mainly speak to my mother about matters of the heart. And even she gives me the spiel of “you know men are slower than women to develop” blah, blah, blah. Where I respect and agree with her point of view, I refuse to accept this as an acceptable reason for the other sexes inability to grow and step up as another half. I think as individuals despite our gender we should be able to look at ourselves and assess if the behaviour that we are exuding is beneficial to what it is that we are trying to achieve, be it in a relationship or just in regards to progression throughout life. While the reality of it all is that if your foot is not all the way up their ass on a regular basis, you are stuck with original model no 2.0.
Okay that is frustrated me talking, but I think we as women with valid needs should be speaking up about what levels of support we need early on to get the best out of our relationships. If there is anything men consistently do, it’s express their contempt for something that their girlfriend does from putting on that colourful headscarf every night to struggling to decide what type of food she wants on cheat day. Trust me we hear about it so why can we not do the same?
I am a person that puts everything into anything that I do, and when I love it is with full force. And if there are any women who are like me out there, you are way past tired of being given the role of mother way before your time especially when it means bringing up grown ass men who should be in at least the post graduate stages of advancement in life. I like other women are not looking for the unrealistic standard of the perfect man or even a finished product, and I am of the understanding that each individual needs their personal time and space to grow. But when the other piece of the puzzle doesn’t put in the same amount of effort as their counter part it makes it difficult to believe in them or what they claimed to offer.
So to all the lost boys who think they are future worthy heads of their household, step up and be open to change. Always aspire to give the woman that you love all that she will ever need, not just what you feel is possible for you to give. And to my fellow sisters, I challenge all of you to rebuke the curse of the fuck boy. Do your best Beyonce infused roar and assess what it is that you need from the opposite sex be it a husband, boyfriend or even better potential partner. Our role as women is always being explained as the teacher and nurturer of young men who will soon become our Kings and nurturing is not another term for sticking it through because eventually it will turn out to pay off. Speak out about the things that are unacceptable for you and set your demands, when they can’t give you what you know you deserve let him know or set your sights on a candidate that is willing to meet you half way. Because trust me, as much as society enforces it there is no book written or unwritten that condemns us as a gender to suffer.