As I was scrolling through Twitter AKA the platform for re-occurring and jarring debates, the discussion of finances and which gender was responsible for paying the rent was roused. I was beyond shocked and astounded to see the volume of women vehemently promoting that it is their husbands/partners sole duty to pay full rent or mortgage payments renouncing their culpability to contribute to their household, offering a small portion towards household bills. Now I caught wind of this conversation real late, but you know I was heated because it is mind-boggling how after so many years of women fighting for equal rights to education and to just be treated like normal citizens this is the ideology we are subscribing to?
I come from a family where the majority is female, and I attended an all girl secondary school (worst experience of my life but we’ll get into that in another post) so I have had a lot of experience, and what I have noticed is that sometimes we can become spoilt and entitled. Lots of us growing up were pampered and called princesses our whole lives and rightly so, but it can go straight to our heads which could remove all sense of our obligation and purpose within relationships and the families we aim to build. The current economic status of the country does not support young adults to exercise their right to independence, so this means most Millenials are forced to lodge with their parents in their childhood homes causing this pampered theory to reside within their minds and become their way of living. And realistically when your own parents are encouraging you to opt-out of the terms included with becoming an adult such as contributing to bills or household rent, what makes anyone want to continue that when you move out?
Growing up I was surrounded by such independent women and hardworking people that I had no choice for it to be ingrained into me. Early on into my 20’s I was rushed into living an independent life prior to getting into a relationship and living with my boyfriend. The ability to provide and look after myself added to my self-esteem, I felt proud that I could sustain my lifestyle and it helped me grow as a woman. I was aware of what was a necessity vs the things I just wanted to acquire, and having a partner to support me through this transitional period of my life has only enhanced this understanding and given me the opportunity add to the lifestyle as the responsibility is now shared. I know people get tired of hearing it but as we know our ancestors fought many battles to gain equality for women, despite the lives that were lost this is not a war that is over. Day after day we continue to debate over matters that desire for us to be protected at all cost and it makes me more than upset to see it be thrown away by our own kind with selfish remarks that only preserve us that right to continue to save money to wear labels and have copious amounts of Peruvian bundles.
Might I also add that it has been a known fact finances are one of the major reasons for breakdowns in marriages and relationships, in 2018 The Independent reported on research conducted by Slater and Gordon legal firm which found that difficulties with money were the main reason for a third of divorce petitions made. So clearly it is a crucial element for both parties to pull their weight in regards to maintaining financial commitments as the progression of relationships are at stake. Money matters should be discussed and agreed on and as long as both parties are happy with the decisions and that they are fair then so be it, but there is no gender denomination that should stipulate household responsibilities.
We are all capable of taking care of ourselves and relationships are a support mechanism for that, not a crutch that can be used when it suits someone. The same pressure we talk about laid upon us to put aside our careers to be mothers is the same burden placed upon men when we turn them into cash cows insisting they fund large portions of our lifestyles. Now if the opportunity to be supported financially presents itself then I believe that it can be embraced, what it should not be is exploited or set as a standard that demands one individual take care of another just because. Women are consistently being dragged for being gold diggers by men and when topics such as this arise and I see the responses sometimes I don’t blame them, as our self-centred and prissy ways sometimes get in the way of reality. Being a woman means exuding strength and we shouldn’t allow anything to get in the way of that, we are built to not only take care of ourselves but also others and this is something we should in whatever way possible strive to do. So, in other words, ALWAYS contribute fairly to your lifestyle and don’t be a lazy woman!