First of all, I want to apologise for the lack of posts within the last couple of weeks. Just before I left for my Vacay in Mexico I started a few pieces, but time got the better of me and I was unable to complete any of them. Secondly, I want to take back my apology for not being able to post because the way how my life was set up before I left it would make sense for things to take a backseat and unfortunately, that thing was the blog. Confusing right, but this is literally my train of anxiety filled thoughts when I face situations where I cannot meet a commitment I have made. But I learnt a valuable lesson sitting on my hotel room balcony watching the calmness of the sea lapping against the shore as if it was a live stream from a Mindfulness app. That although you have a long list of to do’s, you may never finish them and that is fine because sometimes it is okay to take a pause in your life activities.
I am a born and bred Londoner through and through, so the fast-paced working spirit is not only a generational curse but also an environmental one. From the moment I step out on to those dull grey pavement slabs, I am consistently on the go as if roller skates have been permanently glued around my ankles. I think the only time I truly stop is when I sleep, and the weeks leading up to my departure I truly felt the effects of being constantly on the go, between trying to complete all my shopping and making arrangements for my Cat to be looked after in my absence I was severely overwhelmed by tasks and also the pressure to complete them so I was not letting anyone or even myself down.
I only spent a week in Cancun, but it felt so much longer because for the first time in so long I was truly still. I had plans and went on extreme excursions, but I was not a slave to my alarm clock or demands of others which allowed me to truly relax, and I had time to consolidate my thoughts. It made me think about my way of living and how it desperately needs to change. Despite loving all the things I am currently involved in including my job, blog and entrepreneurial intentions I have to find a way to balance it all so I don’t neglect my needs. I pondered over this idea of the perpetual need to accomplish things and grind and it brought me to the understanding that the minute we transition from young people to adults and begin embarking on our careers our personal time is snatched away from us and given to a company or organisation to do with as they please as if it is a right of passage. If we protest against such standards of living it is as if we will be penalised for advocating for our requirements or seen as non-committal, thus we begin to organise our personal lives around our professions leaving little to no time for reflection, growth or nurturing of relationships eventually causing them to wilt and suffer.
I believe it is a double-edged sword, because it is poor cultural underpinnings that have caused us to feel this way be it from our homes or the western world. There are no written rules that we have to make a choice regarding the split of time between our profession and our happiness, and from what I am learning from my Christian walk a lot more of our time is supposed to be used for spiritual education and understanding self. If we are spending the majority of our time routinely moving from one project to another where is the time to assess our inner-selves? It is our job to manage our schedules and get our priorities in check. When we notice that there are issues with our ways of living we are not supposed to allow anything else dictate our livelihoods or cause us to disregard our wellbeing, but the only way we can do that is if we have regularly allotted moments to stop and think.
So 7 days later mixed with a few Tequila shots I now know that despite one of my personal strengths being able to work under immense constraints, I have found that I am much more useful and productive when environments are less stressed and I have time to determine where my head is at. Organised chaos is my forte, but I for sure need to allocate more time to inner Rea who always holds it down for me and is a sitting duck when I am running myself ragged. So if you are anything like me an have a deep-hearted passion for all the things that you do, don’t feel guilty or allow others to press you about the denomination of your time. You will be far more useful when all parts of you are in agreement, and when it all gets too crazy just take a pause.