Lately, I have been going through some heavy stuff, I feel like being in your 30’s is just as confusing and troubling as going through your teenage experience at times. Between relationships, career battles and watching some of your lifelong dreams crash down right on top of you the mental ware fare involved in picking up the pieces is real! Now I don’t want to dump on anyone or contradict myself because I truly have been enjoying this period of my life, but I am currently the most confident I have been and in turn it has strengthened my abilities to navigate such hardships.
Growing up I was always taught that if I remained focused and worked to the best of my abilities I would reap the rewards that I deserved, so I applied this ideology to all aspects of my life in perfect assurance that I would achieve all that I desired as I have always exceeded giving 100% towards any of my endeavours. No, I am not a millionaire, CEO of a major corporation or even halfway through the list of aspirations I have, but I am genuinely beyond impressed with the personal growth I have made over the years. And I think this is where this theory stops having any effect and the struggle begins.
By the time I started embarking on my womanhood I was oozing independence and had the world at my feet, self-confessed control freak who could pull all the strings to my expectations and I was totally enthralled by it. But this all changed about five years ago when I got into my first ever serious relationship, it’s funny how that was the kickstarter to what began to show me that no matter what I do sometimes things will not always go the way I hope and that life is full to the brim of hardships that are difficult to navigate . The thought alone of not having the power over how things were governed was devastating enough, but then also realising that no matter how much effort I put in to steer away from certain eventualities it had no little to no effect. This threw me right off course and showed me there is no simple method of achieving what you want. At this point, everything that I used to have domination over initiated a take over on me at once including career, loss of friendships and just general life downs causing me to feel like my whole world was being shell shocked by despair.
After a shed load of tears and a few depressive states later I have come out of my pit and emerged with the understanding that life is never easy despite what people may say or try show you it will always be a struggle, and no matter how much money you earn or accolades you achieve there will always be something that will be waiting just to knock you off your totem pole. I wish that this was something that was shared with me during my formative years because I would have been saved from a load of heartache, but the minute I finally soaked that understanding in it stopped me from feeling so low about the problems of the world. I don’t want to be cliche and put the downfall of such theories on the shoulders of social media, but I definitely believe that there are a lack of truth-tellers sharing their losses in life and reassuring us all that nobody ever goes throughout their journey winning every fight they sign up for.
What I am trying to say is don’t be stunned when you find yourself on a path that you didn’t see coming it is totally normal and EVERYONE goes through this, welcome it and don’t let it knock you off your hustle. My favourite quote for 2019 that has helped me continue through my strife comes from the great Nipsey Hussle “The game will test you, never fold, stay ten toes down”. Life is a struggle but we can all make our way through it.