Source: NBC News
I find the ideas for blog posts in some of the weirdest places, from nights out speaking to random strangers or overhearing conversations during my commute to work, it proves that anything is a topic for deep debate. But today’s inspiration was curated from the Instagram comments of commentator and Youtube talk show host ZeZe Millz, I literally never EVER read the comments sections of anyone I have followed unless someone points me in that direction. But as I was scrolling through in my unconscious social media zombie state I came across a screenshot of a tweet ZeZe had posted regarding her thoughts on the breaking news that it appears that Socialite and Model Lori Harvey has made it official with rapper Future.
Millz post alludes to the notion of women consistently being held to unreasonable standards by men in order to be considered “Wifey Material”, a phrase that is used to aid in categorising women in regards to their attributes but will completely abolish this standard for women who have a particular status or are aesthetically pleasing. I was about to continue scrolling, but it was a comment from Youtube BkChat debater Lucas that caught my attention which I felt tried to what other commenters coined as “Mansplain” reasons as to why Lori who since last year has been tied to a number of high profile industry men including Diddy, Trey Songz and Memphis DePay to name a few was exempt from this level of scrutiny due to her fame. Whereas regular women such as myself would be vilified for openly parading relationships with different men and branded a hoe.
Since the dawn of time women have been forced to create a perfect image not only physically but also to limit themselves sexually in order to capture the attention of men. This is not just for the nesting rewards, but also as a stroke to their ego for being one of the very few who have conquered the mountain dubbing her worthy for marriage. These are not specifications that are reciprocated, it has always been reasonable for men to be flawed during their younger years as they require time to grow and learn the world for themselves which could include them accumulating high numbers of sexual partners without a blemish to their likeness from female suitors.
This comment off lead me to believe that the standards for how women should conduct themselves continually fluctuate depending on the individual, meaning that this idea of the perfect or worthy woman never existed. I have been ranting and raving within a number of debates with friends and randoms about this concept and my views have been ousted by many including women who have been stuck in this paradox of being highly desirable to men that they have followed these unwritten rules to a tee, or concealed specific information to keep the appeal. I was always taught to carry myself with distinction in all ways, a lesson that my mother taught me not to fit in or allure others but for my own identity and growth so the decisions I made for myself as a woman growing up in this world was for nothing else but personal development. I remember back in the summer of 2019 when Lori began to hit the blogs for her escapades with different men, she was berated by males for serial dating. These are now some of the same men who are giving her a pass and praising her as a great woman within her relationship with serial baby father and lothario Future.
The world has changed drastically within the last couple of decades and social entities have shifted, so what may have considered unacceptable to the public is now widely received. Women have a completely different position in this world, and while I would never encourage another woman to find her worth by exploring her body with a vast amount of different people I would always advise that the decisions you are making make you feel comfortable not to please a man who has no idea what they are looking for themselves. Moral of the story is, Ladies don’t hold yourself to the standards of another, because you never know your MCM might end up dating the most sexually liberated girl on the timeline you were condemning before your eyes.